image by Harpreet Thinking

It is Diwali. Our festival of lights. It is the most beautiful festival I have ever witnessed. It is the time for the best food, rangoli and firecrackers. The joy of families getting together, the clean homes all ready and lit up, the pretty clothes, the yummy food and the thrill of the firecrackers! As kids, we graduated to bigger and better firecrackers every year … it was a time for teasing, challenging and showing off. It was never enough!

When I first moved out of India, a lot of what Diwali was for me was sacred memories. Festivals had to be celebrated the way they were when I was growing up. A festival did not feel like one if I was not with the closest members of the family…For a few years, all I did was call home, wish family and feel miserable that I missed all the fun. Slowly, things changed. Every year, we host a big Diwali party in our home now. We invite a bunch of our friends from all cultures. We dress gorgeously, share yummy food and my husband will narrate a bunch of mythological stories behind the festival. I still have the memories from my childhood, but Diwali has a new meaning for me today …one of including, embracing and sharing.

Over the years, this has been a wonderful lesson for me. Embracing and sharing my cultural  background at work and in life (with people from different cultural backgrounds) has actually worked to strengthen my own cultural identity and my relationships with people. Counterintuitive eh? Perhaps. But humor me here as I try my best to make a strong case that we would do best at work and life by embracing and sharing our cultural identities:

• Nobody is blind to our cultural differences:

  As much as we like to say that cultural differences do not affect what we think or how we interact with a person, we have to agree that we are not blind to them. So let us just give up on the hope that we will just blend in at all cost. Instead, let us learn when to ignore these differences and when to enjoy them. When to respect the differences and when to celebrate them. At work, HR makes rules for legal purposes. It is time to understand that rules that say “everyone should be treated equal” do not mean “everyone is created the same”. It is a suggestion to embrace our differences responsibly.

• We are curious creatures:

  I have always been curious about other cultures, their languages and festivals. I find it incredibly exciting to exchange notes with friends and coworkers about their customs and practices. I try to remember that most people I meet are curious, just like me. If they do not ask questions about my culture it is because they are either ashamed of their lack of knowledge (this is my reason most times) or they are scared to ask wrong questions. So ask questions and be curious. But be respectful. Most often, the other person is very interested in sharing and learning. This applies to the work environment as well.

• We are insecure and complex creatures:

  We all have our insecurities. Knowingly or otherwise, these insecurities manifest in strange behaviors - a nasty remark, a petty act etc. Single isolated behaviors from people do not indicate intolerance. In fact, they are not an indication of anything. Always give people the benefit of doubt and do not assume anything, ever. And if you assume someone did/said something because of your race or cultural background, then you are the one at loss. Read an interesting story demonstrating that on Evelyn’s blog AttractionMindMap. Making a big deal of isolated events only creates a lot of animosity at the workplace and could unnecessarily affect our careers. Understand that typically people experience a lot more insecurities at the workplace and learn to let go of isolated events. Believe me, it will only make your life better.

• As much as we want to belong, we value our individuality:

  We are strange creatures, to say the least. In isolation we seek community. And when in a community, we long to set ourselves apart from everyone else. Why not embrace our cultural differences and take pride in the fact that we can all get along wonderfully while learning and experiencing other cultures? This will really help in our end goal of being special while being a part of the community. Share your food. Sing your songs. Enhance the lives of your neighbors and coworkers. Give them a special experience and be proud of it.

• We have no other choice, really:

  If you are still not convinced and think you might want to continue to try to blend in, let me put another thought in your head. If you are trying your hardest to conceal any cultural differences that exist between your coworkers and you or your neighbors and you, I strongly believe your act is not working. You will only end up seeming fake, distant and disinterested in real interaction. If that is your choice go ahead and pick it, but I’d rather choose embracing my cultural background and sharing it.

There is nothing wrong in trying to blend in at our work places or in the community. Especially if you happen to be the kind of person who had a natural tendency to blend in and stay out of the spotlight. All I am saying is that there is a lot more to be gained by embracing our cultural differences and learning from each other. If you enjoy sharing and celebrating, please do continue to do that even at your work places. People never get in trouble for being themselves and being authentic (without hurting others) and our coworkers and neighbors are a lot more open and accepting than we would believe. And guess what, if people do behave petty, it reflects on them, not on you. And THAT is not worth losing out on a world of special experiences!

I talk from my experience and I am curious to hear what people think. Do you see issues with what I have said? Have you had experiences that conflict with my views? Feel free to agree/disagree and voice yourselves!

Some Link Love

This week I happen to be immersed in a very engaging Authentic Discovery Class being led by Tom Volkar. I am also a part of an exciting community building experiment that Tom has going. I encourage you to check it out and sign up if you find it interesting.