Slideshow: My Story - The Happiness Habit

by maya on December 1, 2008

For good or bad, happiness has become a habit with me. I have had to learn it the hard way, though. In this post,  I share some of that journey … how I found happiness and why I stuck with it.

Coy
Creative Commons License photo credit: CarbonNYC

Why do I call Happiness a habit?

Let me take a minute to explain why I call Happiness a habit with me. Like most habits, good or bad, basic happiness has become somewhat effortless for me. It does not take much thinking on my part.

The Good -

Yes, life calls for lot of hard-work, but it does get somewhat easier if we learn to make choices that make us happy along the way. Finding happiness along the way makes us resilient to hard times and struggles - and as strange as it might sound, a little happiness goes a long way in helping us find a lot of it. Given I do make wrong choices, I tend to give in, forgive myself quickly and move on - since that is what makes me happiest and able - to give to, care and provide for my children, while I move forward in life.

The not so good -

Sometimes, I wish I could just be sad and curl up in bed - but I need to get up and move on - for my kids. These are the times when I think happiness is exhausting.  However, the way I see it, we do not have all that many choices in life - choosing to be happy seems to be one of the better ones :)

And so, I realized, when I participated in my Business Discovery Course with Tom Volkar, that the latest choice I have made - my commitment to my start-up, is designed (by me) to bring me happiness - irrespective of whether I succeed or fail in the conventional sense. Below, in the slide show, I share the story of my life leading up to my start-up …

My Story - the happiness habit.

View SlideShare presentation or Upload your own. (tags: happiness)

As I start a more challenging chapter in my life, I hope to remember, most of all, that I made this choice for happiness, more than anything. I hope to make the right choices along the way …and eventually reach yet another happy place in my life - amidst the struggles and hard work.

How do you make something a habit?

I do not know. I really don’t. And I can use your input on this one. Happiness became a habit for me after years of being miserable. After years of trying to be happy. With persistence. After discovering how being happy made my life so simple ….and as much as I like complicated “stuff”, I love how simple happiness makes my life.

Would you call happiness a habit? If yes, how did it become a habit in YOUR life? What choices have you made recently? Are they making you happy?

If you have enjoyed this article, I would really appreciate it if you could stumble/digg it.

Please remember to subscribe (it is free!) or sign up for email updates of my future posts

If you are a parent/author/writer or illustrator and would like to participate in the beta for Memetales, send me an email at m@thinkmaya.com or fill the contact form on geekdance.com.

  • Happiness is undoubtedly one of my finest habits. Well said, Maya.

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Writer Dads last blog post..Writer Dad in Rough Draft</abbr>
  • I just checked out GeekDance.com! I am so excited for you and your new adventure!!!

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Stacey / Create a Balances last blog post..Life Balance Quotes</abbr>
  • Hi Maya. I think happiness becomes a habit when it is not attached to any particular outcome. It's not a response to anything in particular. It stands alone. It's exciting to see what you're up to over at GeekDance :-)

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Davinas last blog post..When Fear Closes In, Take Action</abbr>
  • Thank you for sharing your "story" Maya. It is a story, I think, of hope as much as it is of happiness. And, I wish you well on your new ventures - very exciting time, indeed!

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Lances last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day</abbr>
  • Hi Maya: I think that happiness is a habit because it depends on our thoughts, and we should all create a habit of examining our thoughts to make sure they're serving us well. I enjoyed your story: it sounds like you had it tough for awhile there but came out on the other side the better for it.
  • Writer Dad - yes, that does come out in your writing!

    hi Stacey- Thank you! You are a mom and an awesome PM (think Life Balance Group Project;))- so make sure to chime in when you have some thoughts!

    Hi Davina,
    How cool - you bring up such an important point - I think happiness becomes a habit when it is just about being happy and not tied to any outcome! Yes, that is exactly how habits are !! Thank you - that is a cool insight!

    Lance,
    Thank you so much. It is amazing to me that you see this as a story of hope! Yes, I am very excited - I know there will be hard times but I will try my hardest to continue to believe in myself :)

    Hi Mare,
    Examining our thoughts is so important, isn't it? Except I examined them in the wrong light for a long time, I guess :)
    Yes, I came out of all those not so nice times - I am as chirpy as they come now :)
    You are wonderful Mare!

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Mayas last blog post..Slideshow: My Story - The Happiness Habit</abbr>
  • Happiness a habit? On the contrary. It's a constant struggle for me.

    The thing is, I am VERY happy as far as the big picture is concerned. My life is wonderful and I have just about everything I ever wanted. I wouldn't change a thing.

    But my day to day emotions are sometimes very different. I often feel impatient, frustrated or sad. I try to remind myself how happy I am - force myself to count my blessings - and it does help.

    One of my goals (maybe my only goal right now) is to teach myself to feel happy on a daily basis. This article is very helpful. Thank you.

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Vered - MomGrinds last blog post..Female Athletes Say Skimpy Outfits Are Not Sexist</abbr>
  • I think happiness is a habit we need to cultivate. I do think there's a difference between happiness and joy sometimes. I can be happy one moment and sad the next. But if I'm joyful, it's something that comes from within and cannot be affected by outside circumstances. :)

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Nathalie Lussiers last blog post..“You Shouldn’t Have!” Gift Giving Theories To Simplify Your Life</abbr>
  • Happiness is definitely a habit and a continuous conscious choice.

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Avani-Mehtas last blog post..Top 8 Productivity Hacks - #5</abbr>
  • Hi Vered,

    You bring up something so important - and you take me back a few years too. The reason I call Happiness a habit for me now is only because counting my blessings comes somewhat naturally to me now - but so do a number of other things - having only one prime goal for myself and letting myself slip on things that are not priorities. In my experience, expecting too much out of ourselves isn't the greatest thing for Happiness - it is not about compromises - but about re-aligning priorities - at least for me!
    I thought about this yesterday .... I have had a pretty sick child at home the last 48 hours and in times such as this I do a lot of thinking - since I cannot get to a computer and type away ;). A number of times I wanted to sneak by and try to respond to the comments here ...but that would mean I would be doing it under some stress ...since my little one has been so needy .... So I just let it go - that was the "happier" choice for me.
    Even the little of you I see in the blogosphere gives me a feeling that you are incredibly hard working and set very high standards for yourself in every single thing - which probably contributes to some of that sadness/frustration? You would be just as awesome if you lowered some standards for yourself ....and the world would not even know about it :). You are awesome Vered - and I wish you loads of Happiness - every single day!

    Hi Nathalie,
    Indeed, language can make such a big difference - I guess I meant "joy" - I was using "happiness" more as a state of mind than a temporary happy feeling ...but indeed "joyfulness" perhaps makes more sense :)

    Hi Avani,
    Your blog constantly reminds me of the choices we make ....or how to make the choices we make... you seem incredibly "peaceful and happy" :)

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Mayas last blog post..Slideshow: My Story - The Happiness Habit</abbr>
  • Sigh. You are a smart woman.

    "you are incredibly hard working and set very high standards for yourself in every single thing - which probably contributes to some of that sadness/frustration?" - YES, YES, YES.

    I'm just not sure how to let go. I'm actually better than I was a few years ago, so I made SOME progress, but not enough.

    I'll be sure to keep reading your blog. You have a relaxing effect on me. Seriously. In my real life, people who relax me become my spouse or my best friends. :)

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Vered - MomGrinds last blog post..Are Blogs And eBooks Inferior To Printed Books?</abbr>
  • Hi Maya - I think happiness is a habit. It's all about our attitudes and how we let situations affect us. It's about learning to let go of that which we cannot change and deal with that which comes our way as quickly as possible. For me it's also about finding the lessons and/or blessings in situations and enjoying the journey.

    I liked your slide show. Like you, I spent a lot of time by myself. I learned to love my own company and was never lacking for something to do. I look back and see those experiences as happy memories.

    BTW: I wish you all the best with "Geek Dance". I know you'll be phenomenal.

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Barbara Swafford - Blogging Without A Blogs last blog post..Do More Things Badly</abbr>
  • Great post.

    I think some people have lucked into happiness. They learned how to think, feel, do and perceive the world in a way that sustains their happiness, regardless of ups and downs. For others, I think it's a matter of "skilled" happiness, where they have a life changing event and find it, but also learn the keys to drive their own happiness. Really, it's about skilled happiness.

    I really like "The Laster Lecture's" point on decide to be Eyore or Tigger. I think that's where it starts. I think the next thing is about increasing your frustration tolerance and changing expectations, selectively. Don't get mad the tree is in your way, walk around it. Then it's some very important things like spending more time on your passions than your pain and surrounding yourself with people that inspire you.

    I find that personal development helps improve effectiveness on the job, in life, and happiness ... but that it's your internal self-reliance along with the people you surround yourself with that help you roll with life's punches.
  • Vinay
    I think happiness is a side-effect of all our other habits. The kind of expectations we set ourselves, how much we care about what other people think, being perfectionist, not being forgiving of others and more importantly ourselves, all-or-nothing thinking, shoulds, the kind of company we keep, etc. - all these habits dictate how happy we are. So if we work on replacing these negative emotions with more helpful thoughts, we have no choice but to be happy.

    What worked for me was talking to people about my problems. It didn't come easy. Being very introverted when I was young, I grew up thinking that I need to solve all my problems myself, without leaning on anybody for help. That was my definition of being a man. LOL! I can only laugh at some of my decisions of the past. Anyways, I'd say to be happy, work on your other habits, share not just your joys but also your sorrows, ask for help whenever needed (people are kinder than you think) and remember (like someone once said), happiness is something that happens when you're doing something else. Ciao!
  • Vered,

    Yet another thing that brings me a lot of happiness is the progress I make in life every single day ... I am way better than I was years ago too :)

    Ahh - seems like you are very happily married, so I will have to settle for being a friend ;) ...thank you so much for the complement ...it means a lot!

    Hi Barbara,

    It is always wonderful to see you here!

    It is so inspiring to see how far you have come in your life. Really. I really appreciate you stopping by Geekdance and wishing me well. I can use all the good wishes and energy now :)


    Hi JD!!
    You are brilliant and so is your blog :)
    "Skilled Happiness" - that is a great way to put it. It is indeed a skill that needs to be developed very consciously. And you are so right about the internal self-reliance. My life has gotten so much better and easier since I started to rely on myself - a lot of life is about what is internal, isn't it ?

    Hi Vinay,
    What a great insight regarding sharing sorrows. Yes, I have seen that sharing sorrows at the right times and the right way does indeed create a special bond with people - I am constantly amazed at how kind people are! In the end, sharing sorrows becomes a reason for happiness :)
  • I don't know if it's a habit for me but it's something I've worked on for about 10 years. I think my personality tends to be darker and more cynical - but I'm actually content with that. I do like to laugh though ...

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Kim Woodbridges last blog post..Stuff This in Your RSS - 12/9/08 - Freelance Folder</abbr>
  • Yes, I would definitely call it a habit...

    When bad things happen you can either say, "I'm thankful that I could go through this because I've learned XYZ" That kind of attitude helps you to be happy with whatever life throws at you.

    Or, you can say, "My life sucks, all the bad things happen to me..." But, this is self-destructive, and I think you bring more negativity into your life by thinking like that.

    So, I choose the former: positive attitude, happiness and laughter...isn't it better to enjoy life while you can?? :-)

    <abbr></abbr><abbr>Mel Ts last blog post..Christmas Menu Ideas</abbr>
  • Its very difficult to form happiness as habit. M being trying since very long, still i am not stable when situation is worse. I get tense in bad situations. I hope your this post will encourage me to form the habit of being happy. Thanks a lot for reminding me that even i can be happy in any damn situation...
  • Hi Kim,
    Cynical people can be happy - although it might be a little hard er, I think?

    Hi Mel T,
    Thank you fro coming by here! Seems like you have a wonderful attitude! And I really like your blog - seems very resourceful!

    Hi PocketPlanner2009,
    Yes, I get tense too. But once you start responding to these tense situations by quickly relaxing and refocusing on your happiness, then happiness starts to become a habit, I think. You will be happy as long as you make happiness a priority and I think you are trying your best to do that :). Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here!
blog comments powered by Disqus

Previous post: Integrity, Values and Happiness

Next post: The Happiness Quilt - Share your pattern piece and help me sew the Happiness Quilt!