It has been a long time - and more than ever before, I have had blog posts sitting in my head.
I have had no excuse - except that I am so insanely busy that I have turned into somewhat of a scatterbrain.
And the fact that I have been thinking about money. Since after all the comments I had on my last post, I am really not so sure what my relationship with money is. Writing that post about money and happiness was rather powerful on me. I re-evaluated my relationship with money, tried to alter it, push it around and really just experiment with it.
I had to think of all kinds of things -
Is money taking too much importance in my life?
Am I too dependent on my relationship with money?
Even if money does not define my happiness, is it defining my life?
Do I need to let go of the stories I told you about money from my childhood?
I have truly enjoyed reading the comments. I have read them over and over again.
I told myself a story that the collective story the comments in my last post told me.
This been a hard time for me. Not financially at all - although I am still not earning any money, but because I have been hard at work on a “self imposed money therapy” - trying to focus on changing my relationship with money and seeing where that takes me. Like Marelisa said to me on my last post, I had to adjust to my new role. I challenged myself to see in what other way I can add value to my own life and family. I truly removed money out of the picture for the past few weeks.
JD Meier dropped his wisdom and creatively pulled my focus away from money and towards wealth. While I focused on money, JD seemed to say that there in lies the problem. Once we have money for basics,we should be thinking of wealth and not money. And I did that.
So, I told myself it is okay. It is really really okay that I do not make money at this point. I am a mom and a wife and an entrepreneur. And all those roles are about anything but money.
When I did the two things above - disconnect from my past, try to adapt to the new situation and see beyond money and into wealth, like Dani says, I did see that more money or stuff does not mean more happiness.
So, I focused on a lot of local non profit work. I am entrenched in Social Media, so I try my best to help non-profits locally - be it through fundraising, engagement and education.
As I did that for a little while, I started to see how I focused more on my passions and truly did something only because I was passionate about it. Life got simplified a lot. It was great. I started doing things because of my passion for education. My passion for children. My passion for making a difference.
But as Vered says, I also started to realize that i was missing on some luxuries. And also started to be aware, as always, the luxuries that my money allows me. A nanny for my kids to let me do what I enjoy once in a while - even if that happens to be a short peaceful nap …
I simplified my life a lot more. My life has always been simple but I simplified it all the more - in my head.
Ram and Ankur both seemed to say that they would donate money if they had more. I thought I might try that too. I have started to donate to causes through Memetales. I really do not save a lot, so I started to give more of my time to my passions. And yes, it has been wonderful. Stop focusing on the money and the money starts to come — like Nicole very simply put it. I am not so sure yet, but I do see a LOT of work (and hence potential money) coming my way. Earning respect, being invited to speak at conferences and so on might not be money, but it certainly qualifies as wealth.
And after all this, I do not know, what is real and what is a perception. It is all blurry to me now. I might need Natalie’s help 
And then I wondered - Am I becoming the person Sara talks about in her post? By thinking less about money, am I becoming irresponsible? Is it okay to care less about making money?
But then, Ann Marie said it beautifully - and I think I am getting there too. It is more about the cash-flow for me and less about the money in total.
As I get to that point, I wonder, just as Lori says, if me being content with less takes away from my ability to seek abundance.But I am quite certain this is not the case. Abundance is about wealth - and not money.To me, it is about abundance and wealth. If I focus on abundance, wealth and value, the money will come.
It has been a long but wonderful ride - my experiments with money. And it will continue. I am still confused about a number of things - I know that children on the streets would be so much better off with the facilities that money can provide. I know that money is the reason so many “normal” people become homeless in the US. And I know that there is only so much I can do for anyone else if I do not make enough money to pay my own bills ….
But then, I also know that extending my time, efforts and energy has made me feel wealthier than money could ever have. And yes, if I put THAT wealth back into my life, I for sure, will end up making money “money” that I would have done simply. I am sure of that.
In the end, it is about starting an all-new relationship with money. And doing it every so often. I feel SO much calmer on the money front now - not all rectified but just calmer. And I have also understood that it is good for me to be a little paranoid. I have responsibilities (kids) and would hate to be cold and/or homeless. But after a basic point (which is very very minimal) , it is about the wealth I can create in my life. And wealth is all about creating internal abundance, not the stuff.
I am excited to share my money-detox program in my next post. Can you say I am loving this “poor but wealthy state” ?
